June 16 2013

Today was my grandmother's last funeral ritual. It would probably be the last time she would be wandering homes to homes for the last 49days. I hadn't dreamed of her since forever, and something in my mind had me really annoyed and upset that I asked her a question if she still loves me, but I didn't get the answer I wanted, you are the only one I told about, and I hope you'd still keep these between us. I was caught up reading a book that I've been wanting to read for quite some time now but I didn't spare the time to look for it, alas I could download it into my phone last night for convenience since I don't really like visiting the library on my own.  Tonight, I was feeling nostalgic. It wasn't a good feeling to it while listening to my current favourite mixtape album whilst lying on my parents bed with my eyes close. It felt nice running impossible scenarios into my head, I was actually thinking about him and my birthday girlf today, making me feel happy for a brief moment until my brother had to snapped me out of it to get ready for the ritual. I was hopping mad at nothing. The anger was just escalating, and all I had to do was to remain silent throughout the whole ceremony so as to not slip anger remarks out of my tongue. Sitting at a corner staring at blank space trying to not think or feel, it was hard. I had to occupy my head for the time being so I went to get a book Angelology, I borrowed few weeks back. It helped a lot. And i was thinking about the thing that was mention. 

Angels

I didn't understand why I didn't want to laugh while my little sister was being cheeky with my whole family and relatives. She was bringing laughters yet my aunt didn't want to come near me or talk to me as I was reading. I guess my aura was really bad. Afterwards it was time to burn the offerings, my

Brother got onto my nerves which kind of triggered my anger a little and afterwards we got into a little heated argument. I guess my emotional state being was utterly unstable. I hate myself for being like this but I can't help it, yet I like doing it because I can't do certain stuffs now. 

Love always

Alison

Hiatus

Well it's been quite awhile.

I gotta say lots of stuff happened. My granny had been hospitalized for 2plus weeks and had passed away on May30.

Everyone were grieving and we held her funeral for a week. It's was a sudden one, no one expected it. It was hard, but I thank those who came down to offer their last respect to her. I also thank my friends who came down and also who were there for me.

Through these period of time, it's only clear to us to know that who in the family is actually family.

During the whole week it was really tiring and it was a mentally challenging, staying up from mid noon till the next mid morning.

From folding offering papers to sending her to her burial ground, was a mind gruesomely pain in the heart, no one was ready.

Granny had actually got everything ready for her own funeral, from coins, and all other procedures she wanted was told to my second aunt.

I always believed that she would live on longer and didn't think too much if she were to passed away, what sort.

So, 49 days of mourning. The second seven was Mother's Day. No celebration, but mom made lamb steak. Afterwards, it'd be Father's Day. They say granny is a genius. So no celebration.

Catching up.

Live wisely. Live to the fullest.
Motivation comes from within and laziness is build upon. Choose wisely your next move and don't regret that path.

It's been another tough week. Taking the night shifts since last night and now, with only 3.5hr of sleep which would not be enough when you're sleep deprived for two days.

Nd yes, I chat up with a friend and was glad that I was able to chat for awhile.. Morning sunrise was a beauty, but hardly any of you would notice it unknowingly due to the busy hectic lifestyle. Take a moment, listen to yourself breathing, squinting your eyes to look out for tiny stars trying to make it's light waves into earth from outside. How long have you even look at something by taking notes of the details on it?

Side note, met up with Syahmah at SP for lunch and Debby came over, afterwards they bring me around and we met up with Xh, Naufal at the library. Then we all head home together with FQ. Thanks Syahmah for her Cheese Duck pull over. LOVE IT!

Till then,
I'd probably be sleeping like a dead log tomorrow afternoon.

PS. FUCKYEAH TO REIDY! WHO FOLLOWED MY IG. FUCK YES. Alright. I'm done. (It's been 3days, nd I'm still so stroked about it) *happy tappidy dance*

Quick update!

Granny is hospitalized at the moment , she fell off her chair at 5plus and was called for to the ambulance. Stayed home to look after the house, my little sister especially since she's pure lazy.. To eat and to wake up to school.

At the mean time, I spend my time listening to slash and watching my all time favorite,Chasing Mavericks. Literally awesome! You should watch if you haven't. Also decided to stretch my fingers to draw. Now I'm at my night shift watching granny while my sister catch some sleep.. Oh yes. Granny has broken her hip bone, so.. Decisions to surgery is still.. What can we decide on? She's already 97.. Oh well.. She can still heal without surg. but it'll probably take many months.. Till then

Toodoodlooos~~

Date alone

Today headed out for my dental appointment, and waited for mum to end her work till 130.. until then went to catch Jack, the giant slayer alone at plaza singapura at 11:40.. the theater was like only a row amount of people and it was awfully quiet until 11:40 , so the whole movie I was the only person making so much noise with the snack packaging.. Went back to meet mum as she drove us back home to fetch granny and aunt to NUH and home.

Oh my

It's been a whole again. So much going on. Two days ago granny was hospitalized due to swelling of her whole body, turns out to be the because of lack of protein her kidney's membrane wall had wore off..

To cut the story short, i went out with S and Cass and jiehang to dempsey for dinner...(photos stolen from S'a blog)
My sister brought me out to a cafe/bar with her just beside the mosque at kampong glam area the whole afternoon
Also... That's just a illustration sketch I've not finished yet.