Saturday, 19 October 2013

Hidden pain


When I first started working in Windowsill Pies , it started with a pure motive, to kill time after grandma's funeral, when supposedly I was suppose to rest a month perhaps and start working till August this year. But grandma's unexpected fall was unexpected and everything became really tiring. Staying up almost every night with grandma in the hospital as her condition became good then worsens as time passed, never did I ever expect her to pass on. I don't even know if she know I was there with her the whole time, because the only time she acknowledged one's presence was my dad, my cousin and my aunt. I can't take care better than the two ladies mentioned, but I tried my best. The thought of my grandma suddenly coughing bloody phlegm scares me even till today. Was it me? Was it because I didn't take care well enough? Why did I leave my grandma to meet my mum for dental that day? Why did I leave ? I really blame myself on that. 
Why did I leave?????????????!! 
I really hate myself on that. I had to keep up a tough front infront of my little sister especially. I hate it that I have to keep it in. I don't know what my grandma is thinking all these while.. I should stop here now .. Before things get worst..

Afterwards, the thought of working for the money was second to the first motive. Surfing. That was what it kept me going and going even when my dad tries to stop from working. It went on for about two months .. Then a lot of things happened in the cafe. 

Till today, my motive has not been the same anymore. I work for the passion. The passion to make someone's day to be better, for the experience I have now is just purely genuine and to help out whatever I can with the cafe.. But at the same time please do not take a advantage of me.

 Just be honest with me is all I can ask for. Don't go over to the top cause I will hate you for lying in my face. That's just immorally wrong and karma will get back to you . I promise. I swear. 

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